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November 24, 2006
Newfoundland Fur Industry Offers An Apology
ST. JOHN’S, Newfoundland (AP) – Danny Simpson, spokesperson for the Newfoundland Offshore Seal Hunt apologized today for any misunderstandings brought about by members of his organization.
“See, what was happenin’ dere eh, was dat we done heard dat dere was anudder baby seal what got itself born so naturally, y’know, what wit all da publicity an all dat, da boys got dere boats all started up and was getting’ ready to go an get it. An it was really kinda dumb when ya tinks about it ‘cuz it’s not even the season eh. But dere we was, all stoked up wit Timmy’s donuts and coffee eh, an I tell ya, dey wasn’t ready for us or nuttin’, an den we done heard dat da baby seal wasn’t really a seal eh. See it turns out dere’s a German girl, an her name is Heidi Klum. Apparently she done popped an dropped a baby wit da help of her husband, dat singer guy, Seal. Y’know, da black guy wit da complexion issues. So as soon as we done got dat all straight eh, we shut down da boats, put away da clubs an went back to bed. But apparently some of da boys found a bottle or two and done made a ruckus down at da Broken Cod Pub. An so we wanted to apologize for da misunderstandin’ an wanted to say to dat Heidi girl dat she and her husband can bring their baby Seals here to Newfoundland an we ain’t gonna club dem to death or nuttin’ like dat.”
Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel was born Wednesday weighing 8 pounds, 11 ounces. Mother, baby and father are proud and doing well.
~ AP
Posted by Anonymous Pundit at November 24, 2006 07:53 AM