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October 29, 2005
Moments when things change forever…………
They happen to all of us. Those moments. Those moments when things change forever.
Sometimes they are because of something completely new, like watching your first child come into the world. And holding this new person for the first time and feeling something you’ve never felt before. Unequivocal, absolute love and devotion to another person that goes beyond what you’ve known before. Knowing from that instant onwards and for the rest of your life, that there is someone who you would sacrifice yourself for if it could save them.
Those kind of moments.
Now that was probably the big one. But there are others. The moment you realize your parents are human and mortal. Every dad is Superman, for a while. Every mom is the world’s best doctor and cook, for a while. The moment you find someone and suddenly know that here she is. I’m no longer a ‘me’, but part of a ‘we’.
And the moment you’re no longer part of a ‘we’.
But sometimes the moments seem more mundane, but strangely still profound. The times where you are doing something you’ve done a thousand times before and then suddenly, you stop for a moment and say to yourself, “Hey…..this isn’t…..right.” And yet it is right. It’s more right than you could ever have imagined. And you know that it’s possible that you may never experience this same thing again. And so you keep going till it’s over. Neither prolonged nor hurried. Just…..so very right.
So it was for me three weeks ago, the last time I went golfing.
All summer when you head out golfing, you book a specific tee time. And heaven help you if you miss it. Every eight minutes a group of four tee off. So sometimes you end up playing with strangers, which when you’re as strange as me to begin with, can put a whole frightening spin on things. And then everybody is expected to keep up or they move you along. I guess when you get used to it, it doesn’t seem so bad. Sort of like back pain or blisters on your feet. But it makes it tough for people to actually learn the game. It makes it annoying when there is pressure to hit a ball rather than just play.
But there I was on Sunday, October 9th, 12:15pm, getting ready to tee off. Just my partner and I, on a slightly overcast, threat of rain kind of fall day. The leaves were beginning to fall and there were a few more ducks than usual on the lakes in the course. A few swans and geese had joined them as they swam around searching for food and mocking the quality of our play. Which I thought was most unfair by the way, as our days of burning worms seem to have passed. **Though numerous banana slugs and a couple of squirrels would try to convince you otherwise.**
After three or four holes we came to realize that with the exception of a fast moving pair three holes back, we were the last to tee off. The game was going well. Fantastic in fact. The rain had held off. The wind was non existent and the whole course was smelling with the sweetness of the fall maple leaves.
The group that had teed off behind us caught up as we finished the ninth hole. We stopped for a drink, ok two, and headed back out, not having to wait to tee off and not having to worry about someone coming up behind.
We were taking the time to learn and play. Sometimes hitting two or three balls. But always taking the time to talk. The time to curse and to laugh. The time to be….most human, instead of just golfers.
I guess it was somewhere around the twelfth hole that we paused and looked around. And there was nobody else. Nobody. We were playing a great golf course, and it was all ours. There was literally nobody else in that world right then.
The moment…..
It was surreal. Never, in all my years of playing the game, had I ever enjoyed myself more. Playing at whatever dreadfully slow pace we were, and nobody to tell us to hurry up. Stopping to search for golf balls, when you know there was no way you could do so in the middle of the summer. And nobody to tell us to hurry up. Totally in synch with what we were doing, instead of doing it in synch with what was expected. I have played golf better than I did that day. And I have played worse. But I have never, ever, enjoyed a round of golf as much as I did that day.
We mused that if you had the wealth of Bill Gates, you could buy yourself a course or twenty, and keep it all to yourself. And I suppose he could. But even so, it wouldn’t be the same. Finding yourself in a magical moment is far different from orchestrating a moment for selfish pleasure. Sort of the difference between finding a ten dollar bill on the ground instead of working for it.
No, we won that one. Not even Bill with all his billions could have had what we had that day.
So we played on, far too late. Feeling guilty for keeping the owners there well beyond their due time. But only a little.
Eventually the day came to an end and we each went our own ways, the smiles never leaving our faces. And I have been trying to explain the day to others for three weeks now, with only limited success. I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this for three weeks now, with limited success.
And then it hit me…….
It wasn’t just the golf.
See, I could have been out there all alone. The course all to myself. But it wouldn’t have been the same.
Somewhere between the first tee and the eighteenth green, the game changed. Keeping score became secondary to reaching for a submerged ball, just six inches too far away. Not spilling the last beer became more important than where the shot went. The ‘Rules of Golf’ became ‘Suggestions’. And though those specific circumstances may never happen again, the memory of that day will never leave and will always make the next round of golf better. It wasn’t a competition, it was an experience.
So now, when I teach my own son and daughter this game, I have a new ideal for them. If I can somehow pass along even a small bit of the spirit of that day, they will be better golfers and better people for it.
Twice in the past, I hung up my clubs, seemingly forever. But because I wasn’t playing alone, for the first time in my life, I miss this game I have known so well.
~ AP
Posted by Anonymous Pundit at October 29, 2005 03:40 PM