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July 02, 2005
George Clooney To End World Poverty!!!!
The ‘Ocean’s Twelve’ star has reportedly arranged to meet world leaders to discuss world poverty after his friend Brad ‘Mr. Jolie’ Pitt urged him to do so.
“I am going to Scotland to the G8 summit,” revealed George.
“We’re working on the Make Poverty History campaign to try to get members of G8 to throw a little more money towards Africa.”
Holy Shit!! It's staggering to realize how simple it was. All we needed was George.
After all the Popes and all the leaders of the world and all the Nobel Laureates and the United Nations and the global organizations have failed, along will come George to save all the poor people of the world. And here’s how he will do it:
After flying very first class in a large airliner or private plane and consuming enough food and fine wine by way of cost to feed an entire African village for a year, George will ask the leaders of the world to TAX ALL OF US even more than before so we can send even more money into the black holes of Africa where corrupt officials will divert all or most of the funds to their private accounts in Switzerland, just prior to emigrating to Scarsdale or Miami Beach.
The sexy star who is also trying to arrange a one-to-one meeting with Britain’s Prime Minister, Tony Blair, said he regretted taking so long to get involved in the cause. Probably because he was too busy making his last movie and being personally paid more than the gross national product of Zambia. I guess it must really suck to be George and suddenly realize how little time he has to save the world.
Now I’m not sure exactly what Tony and George are going to talk about, but I have a feeling that it won’t amount to much. What George will learn, is that the main reason he will be allowed into the summit, is so that he can spend time with the wives of the world leaders, getting them all hot and bothered and horny so that they will go back to their otherwise dour mates and have sex with them while fantasizing about George. That’ll be fine for Barbara Bush, bucking and thrashing on top of George W., riding him like a good Texas cowgirl and screaming, “Yes George! Yes!” The others may want to be quieter about it….or not. Word has it Lyudmila Putin likes to tease Vladimir about her ‘secret lovers’. Apparently the ex KGB chief has taught her a few things about bondage and torture.
So go for it George. Make us all proud. Show us how you can do what nobody else can. Because after all, you are eminently qualified, being, like, a movie star and everything.
~ AP
Posted by Anonymous Pundit at July 2, 2005 05:18 PM