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June 10, 2005

And then there’s the Dutch….

The cheapest bunch on the planet, unless it comes to having sex, buying cheese, smoking hash, having sex, hating the Germans or having sex. They have such a relaxed view of the world that if they are not euthanizing their old and weak, the state is paying prostitutes to provide sex for them as a form of mental and physical therapy. I’m not sure if there is a porn movie where all of the actors / actresses are wearing nothing but wooden shoes and grinding away on the grindstones in a windmill, but I can assure you that if there is, it stars a bunch of happy Dutch who probably did it for free.

There are of course very strict, dour, religiously ultraconservative Dutch. But they seem to be few and far between and due to their inherent cheapness, never leave home. This is good because the Dutch are almost universally regarded as being amongst the worst drivers in Europe. No one can quite explain it, but perhaps, the picture below can provide some hint of insight. There are after all, a lot of cyclists in Holland.

Dutch Driving Test 2.jpg

The Dutch attitude towards life may have something to do with the pervasive fear that they all live with, and therefore the sort of ‘carpe diem’ attitude. I am referring to the fact that a large part of the country lives below sea level, but really, really close to the sea. Disaster has befallen them numerous times with tragic results and has given rise to interesting stories like the one about the Dutch boy who stuck his finger in the dyke to make sure she retained water. But I never did get that one. Oh well. Perhaps a trip to Amsterdam one day will help. I think I’ll rent a bike.

~ AP

Posted by Anonymous Pundit at June 10, 2005 06:37 PM


Hahahahahahahahaha, great!

Hahahahaha, so much knowhow about Holland. And that for an American?

Maybe a good idea to visit Holland sometime!

Posted by: Hans at May 24, 2006 10:16 AM

geeez! whatever... you american's should be jealous of our country everything is organised in the right way! Unlike you people we don't have to worry about the costs of surgery or the consequences of losing our job. Our system cover's that and thanks to that system we don't have poor people like you do in America! so unlike the person above, I DON'T think you should come over here. Please go bitch in and about your own (hypocrite) country! bye bye zwaai zwaai

Posted by: annabelle at September 25, 2006 09:49 AM

Ahhhh…..perhaps you are one of the ultraconservative ones as you seem to have missed the, what I thought was none too subtle sarcasm. I wish we were as permissive here. But since you are Dutch and I assume that English is not your first language I will forgive you this time.

You see, I wasn’t bitching about your country at all. I and most of the rest of the world are quite envious of much of what Holland stands for and does. Though I admit that when I was a waiter, the only group of people that tipped worse (read ‘if at all’) than teachers were Dutch people and I would further add that the majority were older and had probably immigrated after the war and lived through times where they had nothing at all. So they have earned their thrifty nature fair and square. Still, when you rely on tips to eat, not getting them leaves a long lasting memory of the people who tipped “nary a farthing.”

The thing that I find interesting here however, is the assumption you have that I am American. Evidently you have never been to America where you would see the benefits of a society that isn’t overly organized or taxed. A place where people live or die by the choices they make, not the choices others make for them. A place where there’s room to breathe and be a master of your own destiny. A place that’s just too damn big to organize. You should visit America sometime. Most of your countrymen do and love it. You might like it so much you never leave.

There is a terrible social arrogance as well that seems to permeate small little countries that have too many people in too small a space. The only way people in places like that can stay sane is to organize and file and pigeonhole every imaginable facet of life to help you ignore the fact that you may go for years and years without ever being more than a handful of meters from the next human being, breathing, eating, farting or fucking at all times just around the corner or on the other side of the wall. And socialized medicine isn’t all it’s cracked up to be sweetheart. I want the ability to work hard, earn my money and when I’m sick, go buy the best possible services and healing I can get. In the end it won’t save any of us, but If I go and die in a hospital, it’s gonna be in an expensive private hospital room surrounded by attractive naked women singing and crying for me as I sail away to my own private Valhalla.

And don’t give me that ‘holier than thou’ bullshit about no poor people in Holland, they just blend in better there. Or perhaps you haven’t checked lately? Of course there are poor people in Holland. There are everywhere. Unfortunately in Holland, the people that work really hard and deserve their money have to pay so many unfair taxes that poor people are subsidized to the point that they don’t have to put any effort into society. Well fuck them. A cardboard box to sleep in and some chicken bones from the garbage bin behind my restaurant is about all those lazy cretins deserve. If you don’t put in, you shouldn’t be able to take out.

And finally I love Holland. I really do. Its part of this great big world we live in and I hope to visit again and again. Preferably on a bike behind our favorite model above. And maybe, when I’ve finished riding around for the day, you and me can get together for coffee and ‘shoot the shit’ for a while. Sort of discuss the merits of societal prejudices and arrogance. Or should that be ignorance?

And by the way…..I’m Canadian. Remember us? We kicked some pesky Germans out of your country about 60 years ago. We also have socialized medicine and run a semi welfare state. And we have poor people too. So bye, bye and zwaai, zwaai….whatever the hell that means.

~ AP

Posted by: Anonymous Pundit at September 26, 2006 02:27 PM

nice ass!

Posted by: Madge at October 2, 2006 12:48 AM

Madge...Madge....Madge.... The pundit will not deny that the girl in the picture does indeed have a nice ass.

But is that the best you can do? Is that really all you got from the post?

Let us assume for the sake of argument that in your lesbianesque way, all you got from the post was a sense of joy from looking at that girl's ass. Was "nice ass" really the best you could do?

How about, "There upon that bicycle is an ass for the ages. A gravity defying derriere of such exquisite nature and form that it causes me to wonder if it is even real or if it is a computer generated effect that encompasses every dream and desireable feature that could possibly be part of the perfect female ass. An ass to dream about. An ass to pray for. An ass to remind you that no matter how hard you work, how much money you have or how many other fine asses you may see in your life, that unless you see that ass in person, you will never see the best."

Now Madge, wouldn't you say that was a little better? Now go forth and dream Madge, dream about that, 'nice ass.'

~ AP

Posted by: Anonymous Pundit at October 3, 2006 02:01 PM

canadian,american, youre country i.m sorry youre land whe conguerd in the early days you stupid!!
Before you had the name Canada
youre land is born on french,dutch,spain territory.

Posted by: Roy at November 7, 2006 03:04 PM

What the hell are you trying to say Roy? I can tell you're trying to make a point Roy, but I don't think there's a soul out there, myself included, that can tell what it is. About the only point that seems clear here Roy is that you are an ignorant and illiterate bastard who's parents may have been brother and sister.

Before we had the name Canada, there was no name for the country. Do you know why? Because the illiterate savages that sparsely populated the place were too busy killing each other to create names or a written languge. They didn't even have nimbers Roy, they didn't even have numbers. But the French and Dutch and Spanish (Oh! And don't forget the English) came over here and started killing them off faster than smallpox and Presto! Here we are....Canada. A large happy land where chasing beaver has been a national pastime for nearly five centuries.

So maybe you'll get your head out of the gin or whatever the hell you have clouding your small and insignificant brain and learn to smile a bit. And remember, if you're going to go on the internet and accuse someone of being stupid, you better be prepared for what comes after. Like me Roy. You're outta your league here boy. So go back to staring at her ass if you can do so without soiling yourself and quit calling us stupid.

~ AP

Posted by: AP at November 7, 2006 04:48 PM

Look who,s accusing who????us of the cheapest bunch of the world?
So my question back !!!You're outta your league here boy!!!
I think the only therms you know is smoking legal weed have 90% sex on a day and more sex on a day the wooden shoes and don,t forget the stupid boy in the dijk
you dont know anything of this old population of the world.
whe are living of the beginning of this world!!
Europe has made youre world.
I,m of a old dutch family who lived in the beginning of holland, and i.m happy really happy
whe work hard here for a living my childeren learns 4 languages we have good schools in holland you dont buy a gun in a store if you dont have a shooting license and oure youth dont killing on the streets no whe going to play soccer with rest of the world except canada and america offourse!!!
so who are you to accusing who!!
cheapust bunch of all!!!
whe are good traders from the beginning of this world everbody knows.
Youre bridges are created an designed with dutch designers whe are masters of the sea!! youre Ships of trading are designed bij dutch creators
i,m sorry but you dont know nothing really nothing of this royal land who has a queen.
I can tell whe learning the langages of europe in the beginning of days french,dutch,german,english which of the 4 youre learning in canada i think 1???youre own american canadian raped sort of english language.
Op z,n hollands zou ik zeggen je bent te stom om over Holland te praten ,vieleicht weist du wirklich nicht warum sie ein asch bist!!

they didn't even have numbers !!!Who us the dutch youre kidding me right!!!
maybe the savages whe killed there yeah
But whe know numbers whe are traders your country/land and population knows that and the whole fucking rest of the world


Posted by: Roy at November 10, 2006 02:57 PM

And then there’s the Dutch….
The cheapest bunch on the planet,

***at this point Roy inserted a copy of the original article. AP has edited it our for the sake of efficiency ~ AP***

I.m sorry but this is really gaggling of a low minded human being you have beautiful storys .Disaster has befallen them numerous times with tragic results and has given rise to about us and the sea. how about the stupid wooden houses youre building there with such a big tornados im thinking then you people are slowly to with learning arent you??

***Roy has pointed out an interesting irony, by accident I expect. See in the American midwest, they do indeed build houses out of wood in a place where they could blow away in a high wind or tornado. But is it really any more silly than building houses out of stone when having a house that floats could be of value or save a life? ~ AP***

And about driving you hit the spot
I think if you are driving here in a car
youre car dont survive about 1 hour hahahaha

and about the story about the boy and the dijk we here in holland never tell this story.
That story is born in the u.s.a land/country of to much sci-fi hehehe

Posted by: roy at November 10, 2006 03:51 PM

so you didn,t post it.
you,re a joke
Maybe you can make some time to learn something about history.
Not history out a magazine.

Roy Robert Hendrik Frans Verboom

Posted by: Anonymous at November 14, 2006 12:34 PM

Roy, I didn't have much time to read and answer as of late, and I'll be damned if I will apologize for it. So let's continue shall we....

First I'm going to thank you for reading some things on this site. Obviously you seem to have issues with a comment or two, but I don't write to please you or anybody else. If you like it great. If you don't, that's great too.

I also want to congratulate you on your communications in English. You're English is far better than my Dutch will ever be and I am way out of my league in that regard. And although you seem to have a great deal of arrogance about learning four languages and teaching your children four languages, you can be forgiven as we in North America have long envied the way Europeans have always done so. But than again Roy, when hardly a generation goes by that somebody in Europe doesn't conquor a nieghbor or two, you never really know what language to speak. It's an inbred survival technique that speaks for itself. Let's face it, let's say I was a German and I had just rolled up to the windmill. I would feel less likely to shoot someone who I can talk to and understand. The person in the windmill might say something nice in German like, "Welcome to Holland! Would you like some cheese?" And quietly they'll be saying to themselves in Dutch, "You better watch out Kraut...in five or six years some Canadians are gonna come and kick your jackbooted asses outta here."

Oh.....did I strike another nerve??

I'm glad you have pride in your history and past. But that story gets real old real fast. Nobody cares about you're great, great, great, great grandfather and nobody cares about mine. And all those ships you say were built, well, last time I checked the Dutch weren't the only people building ships Roy. There may be a few Spanish, English and French that would like to discuss that with you.

As to your queen, I will say this; she is a lovely person. I had the honor of meeting her a few years back and you and the Dutch people are fortunate indeed to have her as your Queen. I will not make any jokes or unwelcome remarks about such a fine lady.

And I will close here Roy bay talking about the original article. It's called 'fun' or 'satire'. Take a deep breathe Roy and relax. Take some Exlax and let whatever bug that crawled up your ass crawl back out. Laugh a little Roy. Everybody in the free world admires the attitudes of the Dutch and the tolerance of your society. But we're all different Roy, nobody really any better than the other. I will not trade insults with an angry man. It's not worth the time. But nor could I ignore the vitriol in your comments. So let's focus on the point we do agree on, the cars and drivers, and have a chuckle. And maybe come over to Canada and see why so many of your countrymen chose to move here where they are always welcome.

Cheers Roy, and thanks for reading.

~ AP

Posted by: Anonymous Pundit at November 17, 2006 08:34 AM

canada sucks holland rule canda has nothing but rangers in a mountain

Posted by: canada sucks at November 23, 2006 02:15 PM

And then there are comments like this last one. Wow. I don't know how to respond. Really. What can I say or do to stand up for myself angainst mental giants like this last one? How can I battle against comments like that? Perhaps I'll fight fire with fire, and even it up by letting a learning disabled four year old write back....

~ AP

Posted by: Anonymous Pundit at November 23, 2006 04:32 PM

I in the past 2 years , I have had the honors of visiting Holland many times. I loved it!! Beautiful Country and I would (will) be going back .I have made so many great friends and met the love of my life..All from Holland. Again i think Holland is a great place ,the people there dont judge you for what you do or who you chose to do it with and We Americans could learn a few things from that.

Posted by: Anonymous at December 8, 2006 06:17 AM

Very nicely said. You understand...


~ AP

Posted by: Anonymous Pundit at December 8, 2006 07:47 AM

AP !!!!
I can tell you the dutch people are easy people to handle.
they don,t judge indeed for youre choises you make
But what a dutch man makes him dutch is his greedy feeling about money
the feeling of make great deals and trying to make the highest prize on the right moment!!
whe are a little country. but one thing is in the blood of our nation tou sell and buy!!!Trading
That make us different with the others we are good traders.
We as a little country have much money.

Met vriendelijke groeten,


Posted by: Roy at December 12, 2006 01:28 PM

Yes!!! Thank you Roy. I have never had it explained as well or as simply and honestly as that. You are right of course, the Dutch were, are and probably always will be a great trading nation and now, perhaps better than before, we all understand. I may be going out on a limb here and being presumptuous, but you guys must love Ebay. Just kidding ;-)

So Roy, thank you for making life fun and taking the time to read and comment. And I wish you and everyone in Holland:

"Vrolijke Kerstmis" (I hope I got that right)

~ AP

Posted by: Anonymous Pundit at December 13, 2006 06:00 AM

youre welcome .
And for you i say merry christmas too!

And about near ebay we have marktplaats and speurders too/it,s a shame to say but indeed we love ebay!!!

But really !! i think how we living here is not really good either.
because it s maybe nice that oure goverment/parlement gives money if you not working.
but the people who works pays too much tax to the goverment and the goverment really dont care if youre smoking weed or drink too much alchahol.
the goverment say it,s youre own choise
sometimes it,s really a strange way of life in the faces of other country .

but me and my wife and childeren
zeggen prettige feestdagen en een gelukkig nieuwjaar!!!!!!

Posted by: Roy at December 16, 2006 11:11 AM

Love this artical i mailed it arrownd to alot of (non)dutch friends of mine and im sure there were laughing. Great!!

I was reading (almost) all of the above and I stoped reading it after a few posts from roy. I feelt ashamed of being a dutchmen. I always tought we could handle a joke and that we are known for or tolerence and understanding. Well i was wrong.

Some of my family and my girl friend are canadian and we aren´t that different. We share so much and if you´d ask me only or rules and language are different.

And Roy i would really love if you would widen you horizon (like or ancestors did when they started traveling the seas)We would have been a poor country if all the dutch were like you then. And maybe you should get a sence of humor (but your probably not from brabant so you have to work on that)

And about the part of us learning 4 languages. Before you start braging about that, try to master them! Cause your making a joke of or fine school system. Btw we also get alot of history and geography at school and what I can make up out of your posts your were a sleep in like 6 classes in your school period.(everybody knows that they speak english and french overthere )

And for the Canadians and Americans who replyed on ore Roy. Thanks for being such sports (cause i wouldn´t have been)

Also we haven´t forgot what your grandfathers and grandmothers did for us in the war

well maybe roy



Posted by: Marc at January 1, 2007 06:04 PM

haha funniest thing i have read in a while. i dont see why some people (roy) took this so personally, im dutch and i found this absolutely hilarious, and will definitely be sending it to everyone. and AP, way to change my thoughts on canadians. its been a while since ive seen something posted on the internet by a canadian that wasnt bashing america. canadian-americans are some of the coolest people i know, but it seems that everyone i have talked to that is from canada and has never been to america hates it with a flaming passion.

Posted by: brandon at January 4, 2007 03:38 PM

Hey, thanks for those last two comments. If I make even one person smile then I have done something good.

Now let's not get too down on Roy. He did come around there at the end. He could have just let it go, but he kept up the discussion and I respect that. I wish him well.

I also appreciate your comments about America bashing, or my lack thereof.

My jabs at the Dutch and the French in this June 2005 section were in jest and fun. I think most people realize that. Certainly you last two did. And I will probably jab at a few more. The English and Italians seem ripe for the act, though poking fun at the Italians will be like taking candy from a baby. But if I'm ever going to be serious about putting something down, I better have a good reason. A reason that is better than knocking a country because it seems like the trendy thing to do. Ultimately a country is made of of the people in it and I know too many good people who I call friends that are Americans. I also know many Dutch friends and German friends and have family in France and Belgium. And it is not right to simply paint a 'people' or 'nation' with a broad brush and label them with a name like, "Dumb Americans." That's bullshit of the highest order. It is in fact predjudice. No different than racism.

I will from time to time lash out at stupidity. And if an act of stupidity (by my definition of course) is carried out by a visible group, then so be it. A killer stampede at the Haaj for instance is just stupid. In this day and age of technology and crowd control techniques, it's just stupid. It's not stupid because it's a bunch of Arabs doing the stampeding. It just happens to be a group of people that are primarily arabs who are doing the stupid thing. That is fact, not predjudice. There is a difference.

Does this mean I agree with current US foriegn policy? Does this mean I like George Bush? No it doesn't, but nor does it mean I disagree. What I can tell you is that I really, really hate cowardly terrorists who will fly planes into office buildings and stone age intollerant regimes that destroy anything that doesn't fit into the pages of a little book that is interpretted for the convenience of a few and that will take a mother and daughter into a soccer stadium and shoot them in the back of the head because they were trying to learn to read. I really hate those things and right now I don't see too many people doing anything about it.

But I do see young men and women from the United States of America dying far from home in an effort to prevent this from happening again. I do see young men and women from Canada, 36 of them last year, dying in a land far from home in an effort to prevent this from happening again. And along side of those, I see young men from Holland and other coutries carrying arms and potentially dying far from home in an effort to prevent this from happening again. And I do know this and will say it loud, those young men and women need to be supported, not derided and put down as has happened in the past. They need to know that the countries whose flags they wear into battle will support them. And so no, I will not bash America because it is the thing to do. I will choose instead to bash those who do, while trying to be respectful of all valid opinions.

Ok, that's enough 'soap box' time for today. Thanks for reading and I think I'll go find some smiles, or maybe even make a few.

~ AP

Posted by: AP at January 6, 2007 06:55 AM

I really like the last part of your text AP. Im myselve a dutch soldier and will be going to Afghanistan. But not quite sure when. And I´m glade people still look at it from that side. Cause I know to many people who dont support us beeing there. And wish we would pull back out of Afghanistan.

Btw we dutchmen haven´t lost a single soldier in afghanistan due to the taliban. (cause of or civilians first taliban second approche)So a part of the civi´s are behind us and we get the intell we need.

Btw did you know the dutch and canadians have a shared combat group overthere.

Maybe it should be better if everyone got some more lessons in history. Maybe then they would realise why we are there.

Posted by: Marc at January 10, 2007 10:28 AM

Marc....I can't imagine looking at the situation in any other way. To me, there is no greater obligation to a nation than to honor, respect and support the people that wear that nation's uniform. Especially when they wear it in harm's way.

I am aware that Canadian and Dutch soldiers serve together. I know for a fact that the Canadians feel honored to do so.

Of course it would be better if there were no soldiers there. No need for them to be there. But they are and I hope they all come home safe, sound and stronger for their experience.

And of course that will go for you too.

~ AP

Posted by: AP at January 16, 2007 09:38 AM

....and all this because of a cute little ass. I can understand how wars are started........and how they end as well.



Posted by: Rob at March 6, 2007 11:24 AM

Hey I'm a swiss canadian and id like to point a few things out.

-Switzerland has much of the same style of governing as Holland and its a lot better than in Canada.
-European cars are a lot better than canadian ones.
-In the old world, where the history comes from, america means 'americas' not USA. It includes Canada.
-Both Roy and AP should look things up and figure things out before they go out and yell biist remarks that arent true at eachother.



Posted by: Swiss Canadian at August 21, 2007 02:40 AM

The Swiss should stick to watches and banking and being neutral in times of war. Some people would call that irresponsible profiteering. Some people would call it national cowardice. So which is it?

Posted by: AP at October 7, 2009 03:09 PM

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