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May 15, 2005
Rodent Porn Music Revisited
This is a muskrat. Look very closely at it. I took the picture of the beast on a recent trip to Winnipeg. It’s about two feet long and ugly as, well, a giant god damned river rat. Fortunately it’s dead and stuffed and in a museum setting in Fort Whyte Center.
And why am I telling you this? Simple. The ‘Captain & Tennille’ have just released a greatest hits album, and their 1976 hit song about two of these huge rodents having sex is on it. Hot rodent porn it was. The song is called Muskrat Love. And it is disturbing to think about all the people howling away while driving to work, or sitting in the office, singing the song while not quite thinking about what the hell they were or are singing about. That is why I am telling you this.
Think about it. Does the image of two of these things humping away and squirting ‘whatever’ anywhere near you really make you smile? Because if it does, I want you far, far away from me. Still, it never stopped people from singing.
The point I’m trying to make is that it is but one example of people doing things without thinking. Songs have a sneaky way of doing that. I remember my mom yowling away to Maxwell’s Silver Hammer by the ‘Beatles’ when it was on. Then one day on the way to school she must have listened to herself and that was the last time we heard that tune.
“Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer came down, upon her head. Da do da do do…Bang, bang Maxwell’s silver hammer made sure that she was dead.”
Yeah. On the radio. A mass murderer who’s modus operandi was blunt force trauma to the head with a heavy, silver hammer. That must have been messy. (All those CSI shows come in handy now don’t they?) And that was back in the sixties. To this day though, try and get airplay for a song about getting head and you get shut down and fined. But I digress….
I guess it’s a fool’s wish that people will consider their actions before doing them. Think about what they say before saying it. Or actually pay attention to what they listen to or who’s listening to it. I know I always do.
But I have to go now. I have to find a ‘Lord’s of Acid’ album for a friend. It’s the one with that really cool song about the girl who hates her boyfriend’s inflatable sex doll so she stabs it with a needle and makes it go ‘pop’. Now that’s good music.
~ AP
Muskrat Love Lyrics
Muskrat, muskrat candlelight
Doin’ the town and doin’ it right
In the evenin’
It’s pretty pleasin’
Muskrat susie, muskrat sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And sammy’s so skinny
And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin’ and jingin’ the jango
Floatin’ like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love
Nibbling on bacon, chewin’ on cheese
Sammy says to susie honey, would you please be my missus?
And she say yes
With her kisses
And now he’s ticklin’ her fancy
Rubbin’ her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
As they wriggle, and sue starts to giggle
And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin’ and jingin’ the jango
Floatin’ like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love
La da da da da ...
Posted by Anonymous Pundit at May 15, 2005 07:59 PM