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May 13, 2005
Only You Can Prevent Socialism
Don’t let this happen to you.
Once believed to have been eliminated like polio, this tragic condition is making a now cyclical return to our society. Though it had reached a state of near pandemic status in the middle of the last century, this societal disease still flares up on occasion in a way not dissimilar to herpes.
Usually manifesting itself around teacher’s lounges in the public school system, it is also common in government offices, trade union buildings, post offices, factories and universities to name a few. The most virulent outbreaks exist in British coal mines and pretty much anywhere there are large congregations of Frenchmen upset with the price of cheese. Or petrol. Or bread. Or anything else that will give them a reason to clog the highways of France like arteries after too much Fois Gras on buttered toast.
The disease is firmly rooted in the social deception of altruism and therefore can be difficult to cure, but not impossible. Common methods of treatment include factory closures, real life experience instead of academic idealism, cutting off the welfare checks and making them work for a living.
Though officially known as ‘Socialism’ it was most commonly referred to as ‘Communism’ in its early years. In an effort to hide or blur the links to an often bloody and inherently inhuman history, modern socialist political parties often use other names such as the NDP (New Democratic Party) in Canada and its provinces or the Labor Party in England.
Lighter manifestations of the syndrome exist as the 'Pinko Commie Bastards' in the United States and the 'DVU' or German People's Union in Germany. Globally, there are too many to mention in this brief space, though with a little research and a strong stomach, you can find them out for yourself.
Much as you would educate your children against other social diseases like herpes, AID’s, syphilis and gonorrhea, it is important to warn your children about the dangers of falling into the sometimes tempting trap of socialism. Sure, collecting a check and never having to work may seem like a great idea at the time, but if everybody did that, then who would cover the checks?
So remember, only you can prevent socialism. Don’t go through the rest of YOUR life with your head up your ass.
~ AP
Posted by Anonymous Pundit at May 13, 2005 01:17 PM
Comments
omg what is that!
Posted by: haley at December 1, 2009 12:57 PM
That... is what happens when you actually come to believe the dogma and principles of socialism. You end up with your head so far up your ass you become blind to reality and useless to all those around you.
I also expect that you will develop a really bad complexion, but that is only a guess.
~ AP
Posted by: AP at December 4, 2009 10:35 AM