« The Race heats Up | Main | Prime Minister Ted? »
April 12, 2005
You're selling what?!?!
It’s that disturbing time of year again when we are forced to face one of our greatest fears. A fear, genuine and real, based on horrific experiences through the annals of time.
They come around in blue and brown droves, selling their wares or having their well meaning parents do the work for them, holding all and sundry in the workplace hostage till the expected ransom is paid and the floor is littered with crumbs.
I’m talking about Girl Guide Cookies. The magical and mythical biscuits from heaven in two luscious flavors. Brown and white. But I for one never want to buy them. Maybe it’s because of a dream I once had. A dream that made me question a lot of things.
I was dreaming about girl guides. No, not in a Roman Polanski perverse kind of way, but rather in an analytical way in regards the cookie distribution cartel they seem to control. And I got to thinking about what went into those cookies. I know what goes into peanut butter cookies. I know what goes into oatmeal cookies. I know what goes into white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies. And so naturally it made me think of what may be in Girl Guide cookies.
Look, I’m not proposing that there is some secret ‘Soylent Green’ conspiracy happening here. The numbers are too staggering for that to be going on for more than a year or two. But still, its one of those niggling little things that I can’t shake and so I just don’t want to buy them.
I don’t buy monkey brains either. But that’s easy. There’s nobody in the office shaking a box of monkey brains at me and laying a none too subtle guilt trip on me by making it clear that if I and I alone do not buy some of the proffered goods that ‘somebody’ won’t be able to go to summer camp this year.
So I give in as I do every year. I buy a box.
Brown flavor this year.
I hope ‘somebody’ gets ticks.
**Also posted on Paralaxe.com**
Posted by Anonymous Pundit at April 12, 2005 08:10 AM